Stepping Stones

By Ellen H. Brown

In our culture, death is personified as a stealthy stalker, to be avoided at all costs. So it’s no wonder that many of us hate thinking about death, let alone making friends with this dark and devious character. But what if we COULD make friends with death, or at least make peace with this final life transitions?

For some inexplicable reason, I’ve always been fascinated by the topic of death, and since my father-in-law was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and given 3-6 months to live, the topic has definitely been on my mind, lately.

So I was excited when my favorite yoga center, The Atma Center, recently offered a workshop on yoga and death.  What was even more inspiring was that the room was packed with people interested in learning about the topic. When our instructor opened up the workshop by telling us she was going to talk about making friends with death, I was SO THERE.  Sometimes it’s just refreshing to hear someone talk about a topic that so few people can stand to discuss.

I won’t attempt to cover the finer points of the workshop here, but one of the biggest takeaways for me was this: making friends with death is a choice. If we live our lives in the present moment, in an honest, giving, gentle way that’s in service to other people, we’ll have fewer regrets and less trepidation about death when the end is near. And if we come to know who we truly are and become more evolved, spiritually speaking, we will face this final transition with far less fear.

I don’t mean to oversimplify this topic or imply that anyone SHOULD feel this way or that about death. I, personally, just like the idea of talking about death and making peace with this final life transition, since we’re all going to die at some point –whether we like it or not.

While I don’t plan to die anytime soon, I’ve had friends and relatives who have lost their lives to terminal illnesses, heart attacks and auto accidents when they were in their prime. So I know there are no guarantees that I’ll live a long life …

For me, making friends with death is a process, and part of that journey involves exploration and reflection. Toward that end, I recently, began reading The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, a classic spiritual text packed with inspiring stories and nuggets of wisdom.

I imagine that that exploration might take awhile. So far, I’m still thinking about inviting death to the proverbial party.

While I’d like to believe that if I were diagnosed with a terminal disease tomorrow t I’d handle it with grace, I truthfully have no idea how I’d react. Maybe I’d be as terrified as the next person, fighting for my life even after all medical solutions had been exhausted.

But I hope not. When my time comes, I hope I can let go and be grateful for leading a rich and fulfilling life. Not perfect. Not without its flaws. But pretty darn good!

So how about YOU? When you think about death, what thoughts or feelings emerge for you?

How has the death of a friend or loved one changed your perspective on death?

How would you approach life differently, if you were to make friends with death?

I’d love to hear what you have to say. Please join in the conversation by leaving a comment (by scrolling down) here on Stepping Stones.

Are you dealing with a serious illness or the death of a loved one? Or are you struggling with another life transition? If so, I’d love to help you navigate this challenging transition. Visit my website at http://tinyurl.com/npmube to sign up for an introductory session or a coaching package that’s right for you. Since coaching sessions are conducted by phone, I can work with clients anywhere in the world.

Ellen H. Brown is a certified professional coach based in Cleveland, Ohio.