Comments on: Dealing with Job Loss or Death of a Loved One? Being in the present moment is the key to inner peace and happiness http://ellen-brown.com/blog/2010/03/13/dealing-with-job-loss-or-death-of-a-loved-one-being-in-the-present-moment-is-the-key-to-inner-peace-and-happiness/ Ellen Brown | Certified Professional Coach Sun, 19 Dec 2010 00:57:07 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Ellen Brown http://ellen-brown.com/blog/2010/03/13/dealing-with-job-loss-or-death-of-a-loved-one-being-in-the-present-moment-is-the-key-to-inner-peace-and-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-507 Ellen Brown Tue, 13 Apr 2010 10:55:00 +0000 http://ellen-brown.com/blog/?p=469#comment-507 Hi Desiree, First of all, I am so sorry for your loss and what you are experiencing. When someone we dies unexpectedly, it can often be even more difficult. I totally agree that there isn't a magic bullet for dealing with grief ... Being in the present moment helps. So does expressing your feelings to someone you trust. It also helps to write about it sometimes. Thank you for sharing your perspective. My thoughts are with you, as you deal with your loss. Ellen Hi Desiree,

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss and what you are experiencing. When someone we dies unexpectedly, it can often be even more difficult.

I totally agree that there isn’t a magic bullet for dealing with grief … Being in the present moment helps. So does expressing your feelings to someone you trust. It also helps to write about it sometimes.

Thank you for sharing your perspective. My thoughts are with you, as you deal with your loss.

Ellen

]]> By: Lorna http://ellen-brown.com/blog/2010/03/13/dealing-with-job-loss-or-death-of-a-loved-one-being-in-the-present-moment-is-the-key-to-inner-peace-and-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-502 Lorna Tue, 13 Apr 2010 02:04:34 +0000 http://ellen-brown.com/blog/?p=469#comment-502 Hi Ellen, Your advice helps, although I wouldn't call it "iron-clad." I lost a relative unexpectedly and while I try to be mindful of the present, the overwhelming baggage of what happened and what won't happen is at times oppressive. Yes, I try to remain grateful for what I had, but it's not enough to help me shoulder the massive responsibilities I face. Thanks for listening. -- Desiree Hi Ellen,

Your advice helps, although I wouldn’t call it “iron-clad.” I lost a relative unexpectedly and while I try to be mindful of the present, the overwhelming baggage of what happened and what won’t happen is at times oppressive.

Yes, I try to remain grateful for what I had, but it’s not enough to help me shoulder the massive responsibilities I face. Thanks for listening. — Desiree

]]> By: Ellen Brown http://ellen-brown.com/blog/2010/03/13/dealing-with-job-loss-or-death-of-a-loved-one-being-in-the-present-moment-is-the-key-to-inner-peace-and-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-352 Ellen Brown Mon, 29 Mar 2010 23:35:06 +0000 http://ellen-brown.com/blog/?p=469#comment-352 What you say about grieving makes so much sense, Patricia. Sometimes, we're grieving a number of losses at one time because we never really dealt with them at the time. The good news is that we CAN move through our losses even if we're a little "behind" in the grieving process. Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us. What you say about grieving makes so much sense, Patricia. Sometimes, we’re grieving a number of losses at one time because we never really dealt with them at the time. The good news is that we CAN move through our losses even if we’re a little “behind” in the grieving process. Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us.

]]> By: Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker http://ellen-brown.com/blog/2010/03/13/dealing-with-job-loss-or-death-of-a-loved-one-being-in-the-present-moment-is-the-key-to-inner-peace-and-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-341 Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker Sun, 28 Mar 2010 18:55:04 +0000 http://ellen-brown.com/blog/?p=469#comment-341 One of my best friends died suddenly of a heart attack in the middle of the night 4 1/2 years ago. I know how long it has been because my youngest grandson was born 2 weeks before this happened and he will be 5 in November. I grieved for about 2 years, not continuously. I let myself feel the grief whenever it came up without wallowing in it. I have never done grief like this before. Most of the time in the past, I would have refused to feel the grief for more than a day or two maybe a week at the most. Then I would shut it down and just refuse to do it. I think that is why grieving my friend's death took so long. I felt it all from all of the previous grieving that I had never done. I found myself revisiting the death of a close friend that had died over 15 years ago. What we don't do with grief does come back over and over again until you feel it. I am currently in a grieving class to find out if I have any grief work to do from being an incest survivor. Surprisingly, to me, I have found some areas of grief that I was still holding on to. One of my best friends died suddenly of a heart attack in the middle of the night 4 1/2 years ago. I know how long it has been because my youngest grandson was born 2 weeks before this happened and he will be 5 in November. I grieved for about 2 years, not continuously. I let myself feel the grief whenever it came up without wallowing in it. I have never done grief like this before.

Most of the time in the past, I would have refused to feel the grief for more than a day or two maybe a week at the most. Then I would shut it down and just refuse to do it. I think that is why grieving my friend’s death took so long. I felt it all from all of the previous grieving that I had never done. I found myself revisiting the death of a close friend that had died over 15 years ago. What we don’t do with grief does come back over and over again until you feel it.

I am currently in a grieving class to find out if I have any grief work to do from being an incest survivor. Surprisingly, to me, I have found some areas of grief that I was still holding on to.

]]> By: Ellen Brown http://ellen-brown.com/blog/2010/03/13/dealing-with-job-loss-or-death-of-a-loved-one-being-in-the-present-moment-is-the-key-to-inner-peace-and-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-225 Ellen Brown Sun, 14 Mar 2010 16:47:38 +0000 http://ellen-brown.com/blog/?p=469#comment-225 Hi Stacy, Thanks so much for your wonderful insight. The grief counselor who was leading the workshop touched on being in the present moment, but didn't describe what you stated. I can see the need to visit the past and consider the future. And I totally understand how people can get caught up in both. But I agree that there isn't suffering in the present moment. There can be pain, but not suffering. At least that's my experience. Thanks, again, for sharing your thoughts. Ellen Hi Stacy,

Thanks so much for your wonderful insight. The grief counselor who was leading the workshop touched on being in the present moment, but didn’t describe what you stated. I can see the need to visit the past and consider the future. And I totally understand how people can get caught up in both. But I agree that there isn’t suffering in the present moment. There can be pain, but not suffering. At least that’s my experience. Thanks, again, for sharing your thoughts.

Ellen

]]> By: Stacy Brice http://ellen-brown.com/blog/2010/03/13/dealing-with-job-loss-or-death-of-a-loved-one-being-in-the-present-moment-is-the-key-to-inner-peace-and-happiness/comment-page-1/#comment-224 Stacy Brice Sun, 14 Mar 2010 16:42:06 +0000 http://ellen-brown.com/blog/?p=469#comment-224 Hi, Ellen... I'm not sure if anyone shared this at the event you attended...but it's helped me hugely help grieving clients. it's that all suffering associated with grief is found in the past (what was that is now "lost") and the future (what no longer has the possibility of being). There's simply is no suffering in the present moment. That's why staying fully present allows a person to move through grieving, not without feeling, but feeling what's most appropriate and healthy, and without getting stuck. With great respect, Stacy Hi, Ellen…

I’m not sure if anyone shared this at the event you attended…but it’s helped me hugely help grieving clients. it’s that all suffering associated with grief is found in the past (what was that is now “lost”) and the future (what no longer has the possibility of being). There’s simply is no suffering in the present moment. That’s why staying fully present allows a person to move through grieving, not without feeling, but feeling what’s most appropriate and healthy, and without getting stuck.

With great respect,
Stacy

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